RANT

Has been quite the shitty month. I seem to attract bad luck and then spread it around to everyone I know. But then again, the month has had its ups and downs. Technically all the chaos did not start till the 2nd week of the month - the first part of February was ok, au contraire of the rest of it.

I may even say that losing my cellphone is not the worst thing ever, but it did jump start a series of chaotic events that I would have never even thought about. And all because of a cellphone.

Not only that, I’ve noticed that I’ve gotten quite lazy lately. I am not like that, instead I enjoy being productive. So I dont know what is going on. I know I could be doing better in my classes but I am not pushing it like I used to. It is strange when I notice that I am giving up and no one else does.

For example, my 1st Drawing portfolio could have been WAY BETTER. But it wasnt, and still managed to get an A for it. That is very unfair, though, becuse I know that I worked a whole lot less on it than the people who got B’s.

Graphic Design - The last 2 assignments we have done were ok. I also did ok. But I know that I could do better. Not only in GD and Drawing but in my other classes as well.

So why am I not doing better?

Maybe it is because no one else is noticing it as much as I am.  Or maybe I am doing well but it is just that what is happening around me doesnt let me feel good about my work, and/or myself.

I honestly have no idea of what is going on. I forget stuff way more than I used to. I am getting lazy. I am complaining a lot about things that are meaningless. I am alienating some people that doesnt really deserve to be alienated. I am being comformist.

This has been a very strange month, almost existencial - in a way, but not so much in a Sartre style.

Lucky enough for me this month is soon coming to an end, and hopefully all the crap will stop. I just need to do all the stuff I need to get done this weekend so I can start fresh and be - somewhat - in peace with myself.

24 hrs more of you February… just 24 hrs more and you will be gone.

So good in Graphic Design class. My professor apparently liked my work which means I have a B. Yes, you are not to expect an A in his class - thats the Wong Cannon (Wong is my professor’s last name).

I am sort of excited about our next project. It sounds interesting but I am sure it wont be easy to come up with a good idea. I will rant about the assignment some other time - you can totally bet on it!

I dont know if I have Art History class or not tomorrrow. There is a CAA conference this week in LA and I’m sure my rpofessor will attend it. Nonetheless, I will use that time to work on my ceramic’s piece. So eh.

One of my drawing pieces is being showcased in the 4th floor. I dont know why people like it since it is a “simple” piece. But beats me.

I dont have anything 4 the student show so far so I am not very sure I’ll have material to submit but we’ll see. Maybe If I make something cool in the next weeks…

Other than that… I am dying so I will continue this rant later on because I am totally losing my train of thought and at this rate I will end up talking about politics or unicorns so I am done.

For tonight.

elisays:

Eli misses Kaka’s phone :(

And Kaka misses texting Eli’s phone too :((

saintnate:

I just want to turn off, tune out, and not think about anything.

Agreed.

I will head from the Library to the Fine Arts building to go draw naked people - life drawing session - and to print my graphic design homework.

P.S: I hate you Tom -_-

I cannot ditch Astronomy again. I failed my test. But I will make it up! I promisse. Also I hope I did ok in the Art History one. We’ll see.

karma does exist and returns my cellphone. I think this is the first time I rant about how much I help people and do good things expecting nothing but a thanks in return.

If I had found someone’s cellphone, knowing me, I would have made the impossible in order to return it to them.

I will still go and check the Lost & Found at the UGLC and call campus police.

:( (sights)

[Edit] I know it makes me sound materialistic, but that cellphone was pretty much my life. I need it and not to look cool. It is a survival tool in many ways. Without it I feel like I am inside a cave.

[Edit#2] Having to borrow my mom’s cellphone just makes me feel worst. Not because it is pink - and I hate pink. But because her cellphone looks just like mine, in a different color, and with way less contacts. So it is just a constant reminder of what I lost making me feel like crap.

[Edit#3] It has been a little bit more than a week and no one has returned my cellphone. I have officially lost my faith in humanity - kind of. From now on I will be picky regarding who I want to help and on what, because karma is not helping me.

elisays:

that’s what the barista said when she handed me my very expensive and not that great coffee. I smiled and thanked her and wished her the same but in the back of my mind I only thought, “How? How do I have a good day?”

This day has started off as being one of the worst days I’ve had in a long time and it doesn’t seem to be getting any better. I’m trying really really hard to look at the bright side of things, always the optimist, but they start getting murky after a lot of bad things happen, even if they’re little bad things. It’s the little things that add up fastest to make a really really big thing, something blown out of proportion.

I’m still trying to keep an eye on the bright side though, even as it steps farther away. My best friend lost her phone so I don’t really have anyone to at least talk me through this. I’m lacking sleep and have a horrible headache. I have to stay till six in my stupid lab. But today I have my favorite class, my art appreciation class got cancelled (happy dance), I think I have enough footage to get me through to at least the start of the next production exercise if not all of it, I found me a lonely corner in the library where no one will bother me for the morning, and I’ve decided to indulge myself with a big chocolaty brownie and a caramel latte (“would you like whipped cream?” why not? go ahead). Now I’m gonna sit here, try to study, and hope someone worthwhile signs on so I can at least have some conversation.

Here’s hoping for a better afternoon.

(Hugs Eli)

I am in a very conflicting mood right now. I was going to stay up till late and work on my drawings but I cant do that. My Ceramic’s piece broke in half and I am a little borderline suicidal because I loved the damn thing. I put so much effort into it with the construction, the details, make sure that anatomically it doesnt look like a piece of human crap… and then, today when I thought I was done… I look down at the base and its craking. So I decided to try to fix it. Then the whole neck started coming to pieces. After that I lifted the piece and discovered that it had broken in half, which made the top of the piece sink in and fall.

I cried. It is sad and now I feel very drainned. Let’s just hope that our attempt (teacher, t.a, and me) to fix it works. If not I will probably have an existencial crisis.

So I dont feel like doing much. I WILL stay up tomorrow till late to work on my drawing assignments. For now, I am done with today.

Is it bad that I am watching Inside the Actor’s Studio rather than doing my homework?

elisays:

Valentine’s is over!!

I still want to overdose on chocolates, though…

• To finish my Art History Review (I’m halfway through, so yes, i have been reading a lot. And for my surprise I’ve absorbed a lot which means that 4 the rest of the week I will only have to worry about learning titles, dates and mediums… some artists’ names, too)
• Finish my 236 drawings for my assigned Untitled poem by Matt something… (The illustrations are mostly abstracted so there is not much detailing. However, there are some lines in the poem that are completely awkward and hard to illustrate. Plus, I am cutting all the illustrations in the shapes of circles so the composition can make sense - dont ask. yes, i love to make my life complicated. live with it. i do.)
• Also for Drawing class I have to finish my index cards’ composition (Not much left to it, just to take care of the base and make more use of the tape. I will work on this Monday night after I get home from Ceramics - I might leave class early, again)
• Last 4 Drawing class… I have to do that color theory problem. - It involves picking a surface that has marks (not texture) and then scale that on 6 x 6 in squares and use color theory as explained in class. I’d get into detail of this assignment but it’s complicated.
• Work on my biomorphic head for ceramics, which is more like “hey, I pay 125 on clay so I have the right to make something funny so I am doing this. (I will work on this on Monday morning)
• And I REALLY have to come up with a tagline for the fake ALA’s National Library Week Ad that we are doing for Graphic Design class. (So far my taglines borderline on cheesy and bleh, such as “check us out” and “get to know more” - the lattest one is totally crap, I know… well both are. lol) So any good ideas?

That is it for my Sunday-through-Wednesday-To-Do-List.

Kill me now. Nah.

:D