I’LL SHOOT, YOU RUN
the words you scribbled on the walls
the loss of friends you didn’t have
I’ll call you when the time is right
Are you in or are you out
For them all to know the end of us all…
Came up with a name for the Graphic Design club thingy. Now I need to come up with 5 - 6 more pages for my art history paper. I know what I want to say and all but I dont feel like writing it, I am quite lazy today. But then again I spent 7 hours at school yesterday working so bleh.
I am not talking about an outter change. I am changing, I can feel it. It is the first time that I actually notice that I am in the process of becoming someone different. To an extent, it is good; yet, it feels so awkward - more so since now I am conciously aware of this. It is easier to change when you cannot notice it, which makes this change a smooth process.
But when you are aware that yourself is changing is just… odd. Almost like you are looking at yourself in a weird retrospective documentary, even though the act of changing is happening in present time instead of it being in past tense. Thus, why I enforce the rarity of being aware of self change.
I want to think that this change is for good, it just feels so odd right now. I am becoming more attached to my career path and I am getting out of my comfort zone and taking risks on things that make me feel dizzy due to the constant thinking that I am required to do. And not only that I am also more open to criticism… and that is VERY, VERY new.
But I dont know. Perhaps I am conscious of this because this year is just extreme in many ways. The start of this year has been quite the rollercoaster with tons of ups and downs. Not counting the very stressfull month that April has turned out to be, and next week might either break me or give me peace.
Nonetheless in hopes of being positive I will remain in this role of optimistic that I’ve, pretty much, forced myself to play lately.
This was an emo/ideotic rant - to an extent.
Yet, very much needed.
Kaka misses Claudia.
a list of 10 names for my project. i only like one of them and the problem with it is that i might really have to sell it to my professor. the name lends itself for a plethora of playfull logo ideas, yet i cannot come up with a decent logo. im starting to think that the reason to this block comes from not knowing whether he will actually buy the name. nonetheless, i have to keep trying to come up with a set of logo proposals because, in the end, that is what might close the deal.
(1st) p.s: i hate idiotic projects. i want a real project - aka, i rather do that “siglo de oro” poster.
(2nd) p.s: i will proceed to sing where is my mind in 5, 4, 3, 2…
I seriously cannot think of anything to connect Wong’s project/dream to El Paso et j’ai perdu la raison. @_@ X_X
I thought I had everything more less planned after graduation. I know that I am still 2 years away but au contraire of most people I need to have a plan - it makes me feel like I am safe. This may have something to do with my “urban nature” that tells me that you will be totally screwed if you do not have a plan ahead in case shit happens.
However, this event has “opened my mind” to new ideas including the ones that have been lingering in my head but due to fear and lazyness never got to them. For example: I am planning on taking a Computer Science class next semester in hopes that it will give me an introduction to programing and web design. I dont know how good I will be at it or if I will be able to understand it but, as always, my hunger of learning new things, plus my craving of aesthetically better designed sites for better functionality might really help me do better on that class.
Also, I am researching MBA programs that will allow me to continue learning about the two things I reall like, Graphic Design and Art History. So far the one that is mostly directed to something similar of what I want is in Brooklyn, which is Pratt Institute. There is also MICA, Corcoran College, UCLA, and Otis College of Art and Design. As you can see most of these names are very far from home, expensive (tuition wise, not counting living expenses), and quite picky… but I am slowly becoming more confident of my work - to be honest, I know that it can (still) be a whole lot better.
To an extent this feels like another quarter-life-crisis where I want to cry because my dreams and plans got crushed once again. People say that “print is dead” and electronic media is making quite an impact on our society. I find it quite stupid if you ask me, I mean it is a very totalitarian phrase that, in a way, makes no sense. But what do I know? I am just a college kid.
But for now, I will proceed to follow the totalitarian idealists that believe that electronic media is the only way to survive, just so I can understand better what they mean and do something about it for my own good.
Nonetheless, we’ll see what happens.
I think I will enroll on a Coputer Science class next semester.