I have to look for 3-5 small pieces of work to show and to present myself for the visiting artist workshop. Thing is that all my work is kinda big. So I will have to e-mail Bauer to see if I can get pictures from the collaboration with Theron. Then I have to call people and see if we can also put Graphic Design work. If we can, I might just be saved. If we cannot, then wtf am I going to put?!
I need a camera to take pictures of my shit and turn them into slides… fuck! -_- I hate today with passion.
Thanks to my father, I’ve woken up in a bad mood. He has been taking his personal computer to work for the past month and a half. He also bought a very cool usb because it has a whole lot of memory; nonetheless, I do not understand what is the purpose of him buying such thing if he is not using it to back up his files. Nonetheless, that is my last concern right now. My concern is that he is working with a whole lot of stupid people.
He called me in the morning to ask me if I knew where on of his PowerPoint presentations was… here is how the conversation went:
D: I was just calling to see if you knew where my last Powerpoint is? You know, the one that had lots of pictures?
K: O_o well, I wouldnt know because all your presentations have lots of pictures. Besides you are the only one that messes with the files on that computer. My brother and I just go on it for the internet. So you should know where it is.
K: Didnt I make you a folder for all your work files, anyways? Because you had all your files spilled all over the desktop so it should be there.
D: No, its not. I already look for it there.
K: Then I dont know. I placed everything you had there and I wasnt the last one to use that computer, you were.
D: Oh well thanks for all your great help, then.
So I got pissed off and after 5 minutes of cooling off I decided to call him again and offer some extra help.
K: Are you sure you looked for it on that folder?
D: Yes, and I didnt find it.
K: K, then go open Powerpoint and look at the recent files. Its hould be there.
D: Okay, wait. (silence for like a minute) I cant find Powerpoint.
K: O_o how can you not find Powerpoint. That is a program that has not been erased…
D: Well its not on the desktop.
K: X_X Of course how can you find it when its not placed right infront of your fucking nose. - NOTE: I didnt say that. I wish I had but I didnt or I would have been dead.
K: Fine, then go to start and a pop-up screen will come and there you have an all programs option. Powerpoint - again - its a program, not a file so it should be there. Look for it.
Here is where I hear my dad giving instructions to his personnel on how to look for Powerpoint cause they couldnt find it either. That is also when I realized that these people must be pretty dumb if they couldnt find Powerpoint - the program - by themselves.
D: Okay, its open. Now what?
K: There is a big blue circles on the left corner on the Powerpoint window. Click on it and it should give you an option to see your recent files. In the recent files, your presentation has to show up.
And here my dad and his staff had trouble finding the recent files option, which lasted for 3 minutes - no kidding.
K: Okay. You do remember how you named your file right?
D: Yes. Why?
K: Then close Powerpoint and go back to the start icon on the desktop. That same pop up that gave you the all programs option has a search option at the bottom of that pop up. It should be right on top of the start button once the pop-up appears.
Another 2-3 minutes go by as they try to close Powerpoint and look for the search thing…
K: Have you found it yet?
D: Uh… yes, now what?
K: Now type in what you named your file as and hit enter.
Then I hear my dad giving instructions about what I just told him to do to his staff. I also hear his secretary saying the names they MIGHT have given to the FOLDER not the powerpoint file. The issue here is that the folder is on the desktop and what they should be searching is the file… Here is where I noticed that my dad’s staff are not stupid, they are fucking idiots.
K: So you dont remember how you named it then?
D: (In a loud tone) Of course I dont! I barely can remember my name. Do you think I am going to remember how I named that file.
K: But you said you did. That is why I asked you..
D: (Still in a loud tone) I know but I dont know how that file was named. Anyways, I am going to call the people in charge of systems cause you are not being any help.
See why I hate it when old people use computers and why I highly respect the old teachers that I have as Graphic Design professors. One of them is like a 100 years old and knows what moer about how to manage the computer and the programs than the younger professors or the students - including the people who work at the GD Lab. Au contraire of my dad who still doesnt know how to turn off the computer.
That is not what really pisses me off. What really does is that my dad expects me to do magic and open teh file for him when I am not even at his office. He also thinks that 2 clicks might be able to find a cure for cancer and find his file at teh same time.
Also for the last months I had believed that the reason as to why he was staying at work so late working on those presentations was because it really was a whole lot of work. It is, dont get me wrong. But now I know that it took him for f*in ever to work and finish on those presentations because his staff is as clueless computer wise as he is, if not worst.
I am expecting him giving me hell for trying to help him from long distance tonight when he comes home. But I texted my step brother - his favorite and also computer saavy - to call him and help him - that way he can help my dad. Go nuts and tell him staright up that his staff are all fucking idiots (because he is a man, his favorite, and just because he can sans getting in trouble) and so my dad wont be such a bitch when he comes home.
Nonetheless, I know I will get hell regardless.
I hate my family.
I have two extra tumblrs that I used for Art History tutoring, both which I dont need anymore and am not planning on using them.
So does anyone know how to erase old tumblrs?
Nobody has to know that I am drunk while at work. Soak my fruit-salad in vodka, nobody knows anything. Whiskey in my coffee, perfectly ok. You can’t do that with a blunt. I can smell weed 3 miles away if I am down-wind and nobody is grilling anything. While heroin-addicts can actually be quite productive, they have a shelf-life, sooner or later they just start staying home, whereas a true alcoholic can hold a job for decades without anybody knowing anything. Even if somebody does figure out that you are drunk at work, in most cases they will ignore it until you fuck up. Believe it or not, this actually gives you motivation for not fucking up.
You get to please a sense as you get your high. If you don’t want to bother acquiring a taste for the rougher-tasting shit, like whiskey, you can go get a bottle of Bailey’s or schnapps or some fruity drink that completely masks the taste of the alcohol. This is like having sex with a girl who is both easy AND hot, for those of you who can’t relate to this, it’s like having food that is both good for you AND tastes good.
3. You can make it yourself
Sure you can grow plants inside your house, but it takes awhile and you worry about no-knock warrants and people coming to steal your money and product. You can make wine with very little trouble in your kitchen with a few pieces of fruit, water sugar and yeast. You can make a still, but that is illegal unless you want to produce alcohol for fuel purposes, but it’s possible. Granted it will all taste pretty shitty and possibly make you blind, but it depends on how badly you want to get drunk and how broke you are. My point is that if you can McGyver a high out of common household goods, that’s a pretty good thing.
4. Long history
If it were that bad for humanity it would have been done away with a long time ago. The fact that it is as popular as it is and other things are not more popular works as a kind of evolution. Alcohol is better or would not be as accepted, or exist everywhere and in immense variety.
5. Easily available
They serve it in church, how much more ubiquitous can you get? Your high is $3 and walking distance away if you are in the city. If you live in the country see #3. If you are worried and depressed, and have a few dollars you can self-medicate. You have the option. You may choose not to take it, but it’s there if you want it. I would bet that there is nobody reading this who could not get drunk in the next 30 minutes if they chose to. There may be consequences, but the drinking part of it is doable.
6. Impenetrable high
A good drunk takes you out of your life for a little while. That’s why people drink…distance. Usually, it lasts about 20 minutes, then you spend the rest of the night trying to find it again. The 20 minutes, however, is worth it for your dedicated drinker. Nothing breaks through in that 20 minutes. Your house could be on fire, your dick could fall off, you could lose the sight in one eye, that 20 minutes allows you to handle it. It’s like a return to the womb, except you know exactly what is going on around you. At the peak of a good drunk you are perfectly, completely, utterly, lucid. You understand all even if your mind is a little slow.
7. Built-in kill-switch
Usually referred to as your “liver”. You drink enough you get sick. Granted people do die of alcohol poisoning, but that’s because they went out of their way to bypass the switch. Mostly, if you drink at a normal pace and try to sit in your high-spot for as long as possible, you get sick when that is no longer possible, and you don’t want to taste alcohol anymore. You cannot OD with normal, moderate usage unless there is something wrong with you.
People who smoke tend to just sit there, whereas drunk people drunk people have adventures. The whole world feels like a new place that must be explored from this exciting new place. If you stumble it feels comical, like nothing bad was going to happen if you fell. Alcohol can serve as a motivator to do stuff.
Not only do you get the distance mentioned in 6, everything you see looks better. The food at Waffle House looks good, the girls you would never ever think of talking to are suddenly attractive, the bathroom at the bar looks clean enough that you would touch the urinal flusher without a second thought. People look more friendly, even the ones from other races. Music sounds better even if you hate the whole genre when sober. Your vehicle skills which were never all that great, feel like those of a Formula One driver. Everything in life is better than it ever was without the coating of alcohol.
10. Not much of a stigma
Meaning you have to completely fucking destroy your life before the noun “drunk” stings at all, and by then it won’t sting much. Alcohol does not addict you overnight, it’s a very slow crawl to the point where you are going off to the liquor-store on your lunch break and an even longer crawl to where you are drinking out of a paper bag on the sidewalk in the ‘hood. You will not be ostracized until you hit that last sidewalk step. Many people get drunk regularly, the ones that don’t are used to drunks, it does not shock anybody, you won’t be a pariah until you slam into a school-bus or break into the church and take a shit on the altar. There are also a lot of “recovered alcoholics” out there, nobody thinks you are beyond hope until your liver decides to just give up.
Everything important in your life, the correct decisions, the perfect work, the life-changing realizations, they all come when you are alone. Being antisocial provides you with the time for these.
1. Genius is antisocial
This does not mean that by being antisocial you automatically adopt the status of genius, but it does mean that if you, by some slim chance are, in fact, a genius, you will have no patience for average and below-average humanity. You will see it as annoying and distracting like a high-schooler being forced to endure a day in pre-school. You will seek to isolate yourself and work. Again, the choice to isolate yourself and work does not necessarily indicate genius, just a slightly higher possibility of it. Very slightly. Writing, painting, working on complex math problems, all solitary work for the most part. Genius needs room to concentrate.
2. Less drama
Which is not to say no drama. If you are human and you live around humans you will have drama. It does not matter if you mind your own business and keep to yourself, trust me, the cunts and assholes will find you. Being genuinely antisocial ensures that you will run into this less, which is not to say, never. Be ready for it, but going under the radar means that you probably won’t have to dig more than one shallow grave per decade.
3. You gain insight
You cannot ever be rid of people entirely. I know this, I have tried. Hell, even Howard Hughes, the modern prophet of anti-socialism still had to deal with his lawyers. People, however, will be reduced to bite-sized chunks. You will be able to analyze them as you take your breaks from analyzing more important things. Spend enough time thinking about enough data and you come to some pretty interesting conclusions. The fact is that most people reveal far more than is immediately obvious in the course of a casual conversation, you just have to put it under a microscope, which means it needs isolated, and you need private time look at it.
4. Relationships require effort
Usually of the non-rewarding kind. Relationships with chicks involve doing things that serve no practical purpose whatsoever, as gestures. Chicks love gestures. You take this much effort it means that you love me this much. The idea that there is no correlation between love and effort for a man never occurs to them. I think this all started with that old Percy Sledge song “When a Man Loves a Woman” in which the singer tells all the things men will do for women they love. It was BS made to sell records. Effort is what men put out when there is a tangible reward at the end of the job. Like sex. The gestures are all about sex, not to show affection. Those flowers are not merely because I know you like flowers and I want to make you happy, they are because I know you like flowers and I want to fuck you.
A 2-hour conversation usually only consists of about 10-20 minutes of actual worthwhile information sharing. The rest is padded out with small-talk, awkward pauses while somebody thinks of something to say, and boring droning that blends into the background for the listener. Long conversations usually only happen when both people are stuck in one place together and want the satisfaction of “having shared” at the end of their sentence, meaning that they want a conversation for the sake of having one, not because it actually makes sense to communicate. This results in a lot of your life being wasted talking to people and needless stress as you share meaningless nonsense.
6. Low expectations
Nobody expects you to be the life of the party, nobody comes knocking on your door at 3am looking for a shoulder to cry on. This means you don’t get invited to tedious functions and you get to avoid the truly thankless job of being a free therapist to your friends and acquaintances. Being antisocial means that people see you as a closed door, one that they might as well pretend is not there. This might sound like a bad thing, but it is not. We have been taught that happiness depends on being social, but there is no happiness, just the pretense of it. Why waste time looking for something that does not exist?
7. You get balls
What it is is that you don’t care what people think of you. It may bug you that some piece of trash out there has the balls to insult you (different from taking offense at the insult itself), but then you know they are a piece of trash and you get over it. Being insulted by someone you have no respect for is very different from being insulted by somebody who matters, who you at some point thought highly of. I will give you an example: your neighbor’s chihuahua barks at you from his owner’s front porch, does it offend you that this dog does not like you, or are you just irritated by the bark and annoyed that it does not know how small and contemptible it is? For the antisocial person everybody but a very select few (with whom you have limited contact) are chihuahuas. Fuck ‘em.
8. You don’t miss out on a whole lot
Most people have little to offer aside from the psychological comfort of being around another human being. They are not fun or interesting to anybody, least of all for the people who settle for them. In all but a few instances you could lose a relationship and feel very little, but even when you do, it’s pretty much always survivable. You lose that comfort from being around a particular person, but that’s more about adjusting to change than anything else. The point is that people are not all that important, not all that interesting, not all that fun, not all that essential. You would be making a better use of your time doing a crossword puzzle or learning a few words in a foreign language than hanging out with them.
9. Comforting self-deception
If you are just an antisocial moron, then it’s probably a good idea to isolate yourself so that you can tell yourself that you are, in fact a genius and that nobody recognizes what you are because they are all so stupid. Self-aggrandizing delusion needs isolation in order to reach it’s full annoying potential. It’s annoying to everybody else, but rewards the bearer with a tremendous sense of martyrdom which, in many cases, is the only reason they have to not commit suicide.
10. It helps you deal with loneliness
The most sociable, chatty, clingy, blowhards out there, the ones who try to spend as little time alone as possible, for them being alone is the same thing as being lonely. For the antisocial loneliness is very different from the sensation of being alone, they are two distinctly separate feelings. The anti-social can feel loneliness, but it’s rare. You treasure the moments with no distractions, no background movement, no responsibilities beyond what you have in front of you. That is largely, I suspect, a learned reaction to being alone a lot, but it’s good since everybody has to be alone at some point and it’s best to see it as a gift rather than a burden.
- Jorge via his long, long, long, rant.
Well, yes. Boys are complicated but in this case its not Grey’s Anatomy because in the show you can at least figure it out with show spoilers…
In your case what you need is to get your head cleared up from all this ugly friend shit because if you start comparing what you had/have with THE guy just on aesthetics, then my friend and lovable master… you are one very fucked up person and a very screwed guy.
You are attractive, but what if his thing was just a one time fuck with the ugly one and you are already making a huge deal bout it when you’ve slept with some other 75 guys - not including Betty. (HA!) Or maybe it wasnt a one time fuck, maybe he just wanted to hang out with the other dude. I dont know…
Boys (or girls) are complicated because we make them out to be that. Sometimes we write a daydream realtionship in our heads with these people and believe that everything is ok and as soon as reality comes, we notice that a lot of things need to be edited out and corrected if not completely re-written.
Just dont kill your brains over this… THE guy actually cares about you - maybe? it kinda read like he did. Go watch Wolverine or porn… whatever makes you happy and gay and then just re-think this in the cold analitical way I know you tend to think. Sometimes that Jorge makes better decisions…
I am donw ith another semester and I celebrated by sleeping all day yestersday. Well not all day. I got home at 6 after school and as soon as I got to my room I jumped to my bed and slept like a baby. I woke up today at 10 am. As you can see it was a VERY long “nap.” But then again, it was a very long week of finals.
I am happy with what I did this semester. I enjoyed most of the stuff I did for Graphic Design. My thinking process for drawing ideas is improving quite a lot. More so since teh last project. I think I did ok with Ceramics. I am thinking of taking Ceramics 2 in a year. Maybe I will do some “extra” work at the Ceramics lab this fall. I also managed to survive a semester of Contemporary Latin American Art History, which wasnt EXTREMELY bad.
I did like some of the works that I was presented with but I still think that there is a lack of art theory in Latin American work that bores me to death. Give me art theory, damn it! I like to analyze stuff. I also added 3 - 5 names of Lat. American artists to my “I like” list. And then I think I might just be able to pass Astronomy. I am hoping for a C. I know I am not usually like that but I hated that class. It was boring, very boring.
But the semester is over and I will try to be as creative as possible during the summer and do some reading on the stuff I liked. Plus, I will try to watch most of the Art21 episodes. Which reminds me, I will finally be able to catch up with 30 Rock and Grey’s Anatomy. I dont know so much about the last one, though, because that is A LOT of catching up.
I will attempt to finish reading Invisible Monsters and I will finish reading my Warhol book. I think its time to read on artists that are not Warhol… how about some Conceptual art?
Meanwhile, in a couple of days I will get back to working mode. I will participate on the workshop! :D Apparently there is a critique of our work by the visiting artist involved… no one told me about that. But I think this time I have some good stuff to show. I might end up showing the poem assignment, my bird drawings, and the collaborative installation Theron and I worked on. But we’ll see what happens. Nonetheless, I will FINALLY learn how to silkscreen stuff :D
That is all for today’s rant.
and then I will have summer to rest from this semester which has been quite exahusting. and then again i am repeating hell all over again in the fall and the semester after that, and the one after that one, and then another one. all just so i can graduate in 2 more years.
yey! for super seniors….
well i am seriously dead right now since i had very little sleep but i must get away from tumblr for a while and look 4 a very very quiet place at the library for me to study, then go to the FOX to do our very funn drawing room cleanup, pick up all my drawings, then go beg my art history teacher to lend me her book 4 half an hour so i can work on some images i am still missing - cause i cant find my notes and i am POSITIVE i took notes. but you know me, i never know where i put my stuff… then study some more… and then go take my art hist test and then my astronomy test - for which i didnt study because i am confident i know most of the stuff its just my professor’s wording that i do not get.
so whish me luck on both tests and i promise i will correct any mispellings later on today when i get home and capitalize what i need to. i just dont have the energy for that right now… X_X
oh btw i got a b+ on my last gd thing… i would have gotten an a if i wouldnt have been on the need to shorten the file cause of printing issues. but eh… its a high b so that should get me an a overall in that class…